The 2014 Subaru Forester Excites With Its Dullness 

I remember all my life

Driving on roads as cold as ice

Shadows of a drifter

A face through a car window

Hypermiling in the night

The night goes into…

Morning, just another car show

Chubby journalists pass my way

Looking in their eyes

I see a memory

I never realized

How happy you made me, oh Subaru

Well you came and you gave me a BRZ

And I pretended not to notice the new Forester is kind of dull, Oh Subaru

Well you excited my jibblies, and stopped me from understeering

And I need that excitement today, Oh Subaru

I’m standing on the edge of time

Drove away when RS was mine

Caught up in a world of hill climbs

The dust is in my mind

And not sure I’m excited about that 2.5-liter 170 HP Boxer engine, oh Subaru

Well you came and you gave me a BRZ,

And I’m intrigued by your 250 HP 2.0-liter turbo boxer four in the Forester, oh Subaru

And you offered us a six-speed manual, but only in the base model

And I need to mash those gears today, Oh Subaru

SEMA’s just a dream,

Now I face the LA Auto Show

Crying on a breeze

The pain is calling, Oh Subaru

Well you came and you gave me a BRZ,

And I took it for granted, Oh Subaru

And I’m not sure if a high-torque CVT with 6-speed and 8-speed “manual” modes will be as fun

And with the CX-5 I need a better practical-but-fun crossover, oh Subaru.